You Can't Sneak Up on a Donkey

I realize this isn't a donkey. This is a cow. An unpleasant cow. This cow is a descendent of one of the most ornery Longhorn bulls in history. But this isn't about a cow, it's about a donkey.
Getting a picture of a donkey isn't easy. A cow was as close as I could get for a visual. You really can't sneak up on a donkey.


I'm telling you - don't try it.



Recently when we were at the farm (I know it's a ranch, but I call it the farm) Chief called me from the barn to announce that the donkey was in the road, and that I needed to figure out how to get him back in the pasture. Well fine. Never mind that I was barely awake, and certainly not dressed for donkey chasing. I took a gander outside, and yep, sure enough, the donkey was in the road. I dashed (well, I think I had to put on my livestock-herding shoes first) outside and realized that to get the donkey back where he was supposed to be I would have to sneak around and behind him. This would require climbing through no less than six barbed wire fences over the course of about one-quarter mile.

I should mention here that in the last three years or so all of the fences have been expertly repaired by the Chief so that the wires are as tight as guitar strings. Not easy to squeeze the hips through anymore.

I started on my way. It was muddy. Very muddy. Within several hundred feet I had about 5 lbs. of red clay stuck to each shoe. That really didn't help. At this point, the Chief also decided to assist me by yelling across the road something about this all being my fault since I was the one that wanted the donkey in the first place. True, yes, but not real helpful. He also "encouraged" me by shouting suggestions that I could not hear because by this time the dog had decided to join the cause and was barking wildly and trying to run the donkey in EXACTLY the wrong direction. Again, not helpful. Meanwhile the donkey was taking all this in with the aid of his two satellite dish shaped ears that rotated and twitched, tracking every motion and sound with radar-like precision.


All chaos ensued.


The process did not go well. Suffice it to say that the donkey somehow, eventually, mysteriously (Thank you, God) went through an open gate into the pasture.


This weekend when we got to the farm we noticed that the donkey was in a totally different pasture. I can't guess how this happened..


I'm just glad I wasn't involved.



Today, as a salute to livestock everywhere, here's a beef recipe!


Really Good (and REALLY easy) Chuck Roast

A 3-4 lb. chuck roast
1 packet Beefy Onion Soup dry mix
1 can Golden Mushroom soup
salt and pepper
water
flour
About 3 T. veg. oil

Let the roast sit out of the fridge for a while to take the chill off. Generously salt and pepper the roast, and then cover it with flour on all sides. Brown the roast in a dutch oven in a little vegetable oil. Make sure it gets browned on all sides (yes, even the skinny ends). Put a large sheet of heavy aluminum foil in a 13 x 9 baking pan. Place the browned roast on the foil and sprinkle the soup mix on top. Rub the mix around on the roast. Pour the soup on top and spread out evenly with a spoon. Pour a little water (about 1/4 c. over the top). Tightly seal the foil around the roast.
Bake at 325 for about 2 1/2 hours.

So Good!